Wife        : Do you want dinner?
Husband     : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife        : Yes and no.

Man  : How old is your father?
Boy  : As old as me.
Man  : How can that be?
Boy  : He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher   : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student   : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher   : How?
Student   : Ladies first.

Waiter    : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer  : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Customer  : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter    : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Teacher        : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter          : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football
and the game went into extra time.

Customer        : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two
days time?
Post Master     : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer        : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master     : Why not?
Customer        : It's addressed to Mumbai.

Girl    : Do you love me?
Boy     : Yes Dear.
Girl    : Would you die for me?
Boy     : No, mine is undying love.

1st thief    : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief    : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief    : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.